vintage jessie

from livejournal, circa 2004

"You know how people come into your life, and even from the beginning - you can tell they won't be there long? And they never are, but the time they're around is so intense, and so bizarre that you never forget it.. and in a way it changes you - because everyone you meet will change you in some way, whether you need it or not. And sometimes you meet people, and you really don't know how long they'll be around, and the thought of them being one of the "transitional" people scares you to death.. and you just want to hold on to the five minutes you like the best, and stretch them out forever. The saddest thing I can think of is when I feel like, to other people, I'm a transitional person, moving quickly in and out of their lives, making minor adjustments, and then disappearing without a trace. You never think that you can be anyone but the main character, but to most people, you are nothing. And to others, you're minor. Thinking like this makes me feel like the loneliest person in the world.. even though everyone goes through it. Realizing that half of what you say doesn't even register with other people is one of the most depressing things to think about, but it really puts things into perspective. Some day you'll meet a girl you'll memorize; who's every mindless word you'll revisit when she's not around. And some day I'll write a book of everything you forget, and keep it to myself, and make sure that at least I remember. But not today, because today... We dance!!! Haha."